AprilDraven

I think I did pretty well for the holiday. I did cheat but I didn’t cheat bad so it is all good. The scale says I gained a half a pound. Since I only had a small sweet potato and a tiny piece of pie I am pretty sure it is all water weight. I’m not worried about it. I am doing very good and that is all that matters. It did make me think about holidays though and how all of our holidays seem to be based around food.

Christmas: stockings filled with candy, candy canes, pie, cookies, ect…

New Years: Alcohol and Cookies

Valentine’s Day: Box of Chocolates

St. Patricks Day: Alcohol and green sugar cookies

Easter: Baskets full of candy

Independence Day: Candy in Parades

Halloween: Candy

Thanksgiving: Lots of food, pumpkin pie, ect…

Birthdays: Cake

Partys: Pizza, Alcohol, chips

Ect. Reunions, bonfires, the Bar, …

So by this standard the only time we won’t have a lot of temptation to eat a lot is August and September LOL. So the excuse “I’ll diet after the holidays” isn’t a good one. I’ve changed that phrase to “I will be watchfull of how I eat during the holidays.” That is all I can really do. I actually got a guilt trip from my mother for not wanting any of her pie. Then my friend was mad I didn’t eat any of the cookies she made me for a Christmas gift. It is just so hard to stick to a diet when people are forcing it down your throat. It did turn out alright though. My Husband and daughter had no problem eating her cookies LOL.

For the girls: Do you find it really difficult to get an accurate weight measurement when it is close to that time of month or during? Could just be me. It just sucks that 2 weeks out of the month I can’t get an accurate reading. So for all I know I have been dropping weight like crazy but I won’t know for another week or 2. *sigh*

I was listening to a commentary on ANGEL with my favorite writer Joss Whedon. He was talking about scenes and how he wanted a particular one so badly. Something wasn’t working with the episode and he couldn’t place it so he cut the part he wanted so badly and it worked.

I feel dieting is the same way. I have tried all kinds of diets but I know my weaknesses, breads and anything sweet. Once I cut that I will lose weight.

Off the topic of food and onto the topic of exercise, this is going to sound like an odd complaint. I was spending so much time on my bike machine that my butt started to hurt like crazy. I told my husband I needed to buy a sit down bike machine. He freaked out.

“The bike machine you have was $100. What is wrong with the one you have?”

I told him and he suggested I pull a chair up to it. I tried it but either the chair or the bike machine would slide away so I took the computer chair (the legs look like a star with 5 wheels) and hooked 2 legs to the back of the machine. TADA! New exercise machine. Team work, it helps to talk about your problems to someone else.

Here is a Pic with my lovely daughter modeling the NEW and IMPROVED exercise bike LOL

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c128/AprilDraven/Diet%20Stuffage/100_2684.jpg

Hi my name is April and I am starting this diet for the second time. I just woke up one day and said “That’s it I’m done with the yo yoing.” It is hurting me too much mentally to continue doing it for another day. I don’t even remember why I quit the first time, probably because one snack led to another until I was on the same path again. Once again I lowered myself into that dark pit. I am 25 years old and I spent a majority of that time blaming my mentally handicapped mother for training me to eat all the wrong foods. I remember a time when I was a pre-teen and went to the doctor. Her voice still echoes so clearly in my head.

“You need to eat good foods.”

I remember arguing that I couldn’t eat good foods if my mother wouldn’t buy them. My mother would just tell me the doctor was full of crap and the next time I was hungry she would hand me a Little Debbie and send me to my room.

Now I am a mother of my own and am much more educated than I was before. It is time to stop blaming my mother for my lack of will power. I look at my daughter and think of all the things I can do to make life easier for her and I realized I have to fix myself not only for me but for her too.

I was watching Terminator 2 a couple days ago and there is this part that still rings clear in my mind. No Fate “There is No Fate but what we make for ourselves.” Yah I know I’m strange but that made me think about my past and what I want for my future. A choice—that is what it all boils down to is choices. I choose to succeed this time and I will.